Happy Mother’s Day! To all the mamas out there raising kiddos with ADHD, you’re doing a great job!
I was encouraged today by both of my children and in turn, I’d like to encourage all the moms who are knee-deep in the trenches of raising a child/children with ADHD.
Madelyn is my “neurotypical” child, while Carlton is my ADDer. If you happen to have one child with ADHD and another child without, you will understand and not judge me when I say, “Thank God for Madelyn!” Now don’t go thinking I’m not thankful for Carlton! I love that boy deep. I love him hard. I love him big. But he is my challenge. He is the one I worry about surviving and thriving. He is the hard one to raise. He is the one who pushes all my buttons.
There are days I would just like to ring his neck (not literally, of course.). There are days I don’t think he loves me. There are days when I’m scared and question my ability to be a mom. There are days I wonder how I can be an ADHD coach when I can’t even help my own kid with ADHD!
And on those same days, Carlton is probably wishing he could ring my neck too. He’s probably wishing I would just get off his back and leave him alone. He’s probably wishing he could trade me in for a mom who didn’t care and who wasn’t an ADHD coach (LOL).
But then there are days when he makes me laugh. There are days when he puts forth so much effort to do well and work hard that I feel better about his future. There are days I hear him talk about the things that excite him and I become more hopeful. But then, oh then, there are days like today. Days when he says or does something that reminds me why I do what I do day in and day out. Why I persist when I just want to give up.
While watching church online this morning (thank you COVID-19), children and teens in the church had been asked to record themselves wishing their Moms’ a Happy Mother’s Day. I was surprised when I saw Madelyn’s and Carlton’s faces pop up on my screen. Their messages brought tears to my eyes and were, quite honestly, the best gift I could receive – a personal message from their hearts.
Did you hear what my ADDer said?
“Thanks for putting up with me and helping me even when I don’t want help.”
Mamas, there will be days when it seems like they don’t want your help. Days when you just want to give up. Days when you think you are doing everything wrong. Days when you think you are the worst mom ever parenting the worst child ever. You’ve been there, haven’t you?
But keep on keeping on, girl! I’ve been there too. And I know I’ll be back there in the days ahead. But hang on to the good. Hang on to the days when they let you help them. Hang on to the days they make you smile and laugh. Hang on to the days when you see a light at the end of the tunnel.
You’re doing a great job, mama. I’m doing a great job. We are rockin’ this thing they call “motherhood.” And one day, if not today, your child/teen will be grateful.